Fanning The Flames ~ Vol. 1.7.2020

Do you make these Twin Flame errors?

Hi All, 

Welcome to July, I feel like the months have been going by quickly however it seems that we are now living life at a slower pace, so I guess you could say that is the one positive of COVID, is that people had no choice but to sit and evaluate their lives. Creating change, have you been one of those people and if yes, I would love to hear about the changes you have been making. 

I am a self admitting people watcher, us humans are super interesting, body language speaks far more than words to me and I do not think we genuinely know and understand how much we give away by our actions. 

Actions speak louder than words or do they?

Actions are very important on this Twin Flame journey and they are greatly affecting especially when it comes to the sleeper, many feel that their actions speak volumes, however most pick up the message that they are giving you in the totally wrong way and that can really hold you back. 

An example of that would be, your Twin Flame and you have not seen each other for a while and when you do you both argue, you walk away, they walk away and you both have different thoughts from that encounter. What you see is how could they treat me that way after they have not seen me for so long. I love them but I will not be treated this way. What your Twin Flame feels, I love you but wow it is hard to be around you because you are always mad with me for not seeing you but every time I do see you, we fight because we do not see each other. This then becomes a cycle.  

Another scenario might be, your Twin Flame had sex with someone else, this is a huge one and honestly very hurtful. However you are not in a committed relationship with each other, you have not become exclusive so your Twin Flame is free to be with someone else as are you. 

The action of them sleeping with another person is totally unbelievable to you, how could they do that after being with you. You cry, your become angry, you feel you are not good enough for them, so many emotions are being felt by you at this point. However you were not exclusive, you are not married, hell you are not even in a relationship with them, so how did they cheat? 

Just because of the connection that you have with your Twin Flame it does not mean that you own them, it does not mean that you can control them or their actions.  One of the biggest mistakes a Twin Flame leader makes is thinking that they can have authority or ownership rights of their counterpart. 

Pecking order of the relationship

While I was sitting in the hairdressers this past week, I overheard a conversation, yes accidentally on purpose, about how this lady felt that for the first 3 years of her relationship they were trying to establish the pecking order. I was listening to this in amusement because this is one of the hardest things on the Twin Flame journey. There are two positions many people feel they are in when they begin their journey, either they are above or below their counterpart, they never see themselves as equal, they are on the pedestal or they have hurt them so much they are down there in the gutter. The power struggle is real. 

There should be no such thing as pecking order in any relationship you have with another person, you should not be friends with someone to make yourself better about who you are. You should not be friends with someone if they put you down and make you feel less than you are. 

Being equal to others is what many people fight for every day, the world is unjust but you do not have to be. Allow each and every person who comes into your life to be treated as your equal because at the end of the day. Lead others with your positive example. 

Even if someone annoys you or makes you feel angry, treat them with compassion and how you would like to be treated. This is the way forward. 

Your Twin Flame is your equal, you were chosen to be with each other and even though both of you make mistakes, do not allow one of the biggest mistakes Twin Flames make to stand in the way of your relationship with each other which is not seeing your sleeper as your equal.

Is it your right to judge them for what they do? 

The short answer to this is no but you would be amazed how many Twin Flame leaders judge their sleeper and get angry because they seem to have the ability to live their lives and not show that they are missing you or even show any wish to see you. I mean how dare they?!? They are so inconsiderate right? Wrong that is the assumption that you have made, while you may feel you know what is going on because of the connection you have, for the most part you have no clue what they are truly thinking.

Selfishness

I feel that often the leader Twin Flame believes that the sleeper Twin Flame is a very selfish person because if they were not they would listen to you and understand what you were trying to accomplish. When you think this way you are not coming from a place of understanding, where are you coming from then I hear you ask and yes I am going to use that word ego! Yes I actually said ego. 

We have seen more recently than other times how selfish people really can be, COVID and toilet paper for instance, those times when people do not think of others and their needs. 

Stocking up on all of their feelings and letting them lose on your sleeper Twin Flame all at once will cause a huge ripple effect and I have been seeing more of this recently as people have more time than usual on their hands. Too much time to think so while you are thinking why don’t you go ahead and see how you can make a positive change today, instead of a negative one. 

How you React 

I can not express to you how much the way you react to a given situation on this journey will allow you to get further and further away from union. Before you react think, your actions affect union more than you know, the longer you live in a space of hurt, the longer you believe that you own your  Twin Flame, the longer you feel that you know it all and the more intense of a person you are, can all scare your sleeper away and have them not wanting to come back. 

While the leader often lays blame at the door of their Twin Flame they can not see where they are going wrong. You must always look within first, then come from a place of understanding until you understand who you are and how you react to situations, you will not be able to understand your sleeper. 

It is important also to note that what you give out to the universe you will get in return. So if you are a person who lives in a lower or negative vibe, that is exactly what will be given back to you in return. Self pity will not be tolerated on this journey. 

Be careful what you wish for when you are angry with your Twin Flame because that is exactly what you might get if you continue in that mindset. 

While I do know that it is hard to always be the one who is positive, the one who seems to be the only one doing any work. It is essential that you find something uplifting in each day even if it is as simple as listening to your favorite song.

No more what ifs, don't look back, only forward and at what is!! Continue to always move forward, do not stay stuck. If you have that internal and eternal feeling of being stuck,not knowing how to get past the hurdles presented to you, we need to talk, so feel free to email me at [email protected].


Last months blog, a must read if you have not read it yet all about communication and your Twin Flame:https://www.reunitingcomesfromwithin.com/carolmaryblog/communication-and-your-twin-flame#/

Do Twin Flames have a history and how can science be linked? Yes read on here:https://www.reunitingcomesfromwithin.com/twin-flame-must-knows/the-science-and-history-of-twin-flames#/

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This is a good year for uniting twin flames and I am very honored to aid you on your road to reunion. 


“Look inside yourself, become the best version of you, reuniting comes from within.” ~ Carol Mary
 
​Please do not hesitate to contact me for more help with any of the above or any of my other blogs, I always strive to answer every email, direct messages or Facebook inbox.
 
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