“In sociology and psychology, self-esteem reflects a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self.” Wikipedia
“No one would even miss me”
“I will never be enough”
“I do not look good”
“I am too fat”
“I am too skinny”
“No one pays any attention to me”
“I hate myself”
“He/She is a better person than I”
How many times have you been guilty of saying the above in reference to yourself??
Today's world is very concerned with how much they are worth. In truth we live in a very shallow world, where we judge people’s worth by how much money one has, what kind of car one drives, how big a house one lives in, by the clothes one wears and more importantly by how we look. The color of our skin and our sexual orientation are also being judged.
You would think that in this day and age we would have overcome much of this and take each person as they are but no, if we do not judge ourselves someone else will.
Humans on a whole can be very judgemental. We all gossip and talk about what someone has done.
Why do we do this?
Simply to answer this because we can and we do so to make ourselves feel better about who we are and to deflect from our own failings.
I have asked the question for many years who decides what looks goods, how much money a person needs to have, who is a lesser person than the other. Society does. Society can be evil and cruel. Society can be very hurtful.
Why do you judge yourself so harshly?
Each one of us are individuals. Unique in our looks but yet are equal. Everyday when we read newspapers, watch tv or surf the net we are shown what beauty is meant to be but I am begging to differ with this. I believe we are all beautiful.
My personal belief is that we are all born equal. If you think about it, does a young child look at another and say you do not look how you are meant to? The answer is no, because a young child has not yet learnt what is meant look good and what is not. A young child will just play with the other and not judge. As a parent we form certain beliefs within our child.
In adulthood it may be the result of having your trust broken, harsh words from a jealous person. There are many reasons why you feel this way but it is now time to change it.
So how does one change this?
It starts with you. Change how you see yourself. Change how you see others. Love yourself for who you are. Make positive changes in your life.
We all have that inner critic, that little voice in our heads that tells us we are not good enough, This voice may come from things that happened in our childhood that were hurtful. They may have come from our parents as they viewed themselves this way. Over time these negative feelings become a part of who we are.
It is now time to fight that inner critic and you can start today. I have overcome many of these issues and I am here to tell you that yes it is a battle but you too can do this too and learn to believe in yourself.
Steps to having more self worth
Why not begin today with this mantra:
I am (enter name) I am beautiful, I will learn to know that I can be enough and today is the day I will start to believe this. I will be strong and begin to learn my self worth. I am (enter name)
“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.” – Stacey Charter
Please do not hesitate to contact me for more help with any of the above or any of my other blogs, I always strive to answer every email. direct message or Facebook inbox.
Thank you all for reading, I appreciate it..
© Carol Mary 2016
This is a very delicate subject because I know for a fact from time to time many of my clients do this. It is one of the things I find that most of you do not realize you are doing. I hear you say different things that you have done or said and I know deep down that many feel it is the right thing. I also notice that some of you go so far as to brag about what you have done. I always feel disappointed when I hear about this as mostly you are so close to being in the relationship you deserve so much.
Examples of this are as follows:
So why do you do this?
The simple answer is you are scared. You want to avoid feeling hurt if your lover runs again, so it is easier just to cause problems and think of many reasons why you can not be together. While every part of you knows that you have to be with this person and that they are the one for you, you have lost your full trust in them because you have felt hurt so deep that it makes you question everything about who you are. (please refer to my blog on trust http://www.carolmarylove.com/blog/trust )
You effectively turn into the runner.
Avoiding pain is a natural human reaction to fear and there is no more frightening journey than that of the Twin Flame. To go through all of this journey you need to be strong and what I say to many of my clients only the strong are chosen for this journey and you know deep inside of you that you can do this and you know what direction that you want to be headed in!!
The key is to remember that our minds will latch on to any and all falsehoods when our hearts know what is true. Think about these common phrases and see how many of them you relate to in your mind and then ask your heart if they are really true or just the panic that comes with fight or flight. Understand what your heart knows.
How many of you are guilty of doing or saying the following (I will refer to these as catch phrases)
This is just your inner critic. Your feelings because this journey has not been easy so far and now that you have come so close, you can not believe that this is actually going to happen. It has taken so long to get to this point right now that something will surely go wrong. So instead of believing it you choose to not see what is happening and begin a journey of self destruction.
So how do we stop the cycle?
By remembering that the more we concentrate on loving yourself the less common thoughts and catchphrases can affect us.
You. know how your heart feels, you know what resonates. Believe in yourself and know that everything happens for a reason. The Universe often designs situations to allow lessons to be learned by both twins and move the twin flames farther down their path.
Believing our inner thoughts equals being our worst enemy. Our thoughts follow a trail of panic designed to trigger the fight or flight reflex that is imbedded in our very DNA simply because we don’t often have physical proof of our Twin’s love.
Breaking through fear to listen to your heart means being aware of the resistance you offer yourself. When you think I can’t, I’m tired of this, this situation is awful, these are your prompts to push through your fear and reach a new position of strength. Remember that nothing can hurt you unless you allow it.
This journey is not for the weak. It is for the strong. You are all stronger than you know and that is why you were the special ones chosen. We do not want to use words like I can't! I do not want to hear I am tired of this..I want to hear no matter what I have faith and know I can do it. So let me hear you all say this!!
On another note:
I just wanted to add do not always believe what you see on social media especially those apps who are designed to hook you up with the person who interacts most with your page. What you see and what is actually real is a whole other story. Happy faces can be posted in a moment but that person might not be as happy as they appear to be. It goes back to that old saying keeping up appearances!
© Carol Mary 2016
Full moon April 22nd 2016 - all about relationships!
With this full moon we need to be aware of our intent and feelings about our personal relationships. We are now given the opportunity to think about the relationship, make decisions and be certain of our reality. It is your choice to do this.
This is all about oneself and what you want out of your life and relationship. It is a time for thinking and looking forward. Also we are given the chance to look at the disharmony and the imbalance in the connection we have with our other half. You need to look at the relationship for where the faults are. In other words, don’t look at love through rose tinted glasses all the time. What looks good on the outside isn’t always so pretty on the inside.
With Mars in retrograde as well it means we are being given the time to discover things about oneself and you very well may do so with a very analytical outlook. There is an energy hovering over this full moon that brings an uneasiness and there is a possibility of intense arguments.
This full moon is going to possibly expose your fears to you in ways you were not expecting. You are being asked to break away from the reasons why one carries those same fears, and strike out on your own to conquer them and come out a winner!
This can also mean looking to others who are trusted to step up and show you the person that you are. Look deep inside yourself. Some may be willing to step out and reach out be part of the community that helps those in need. Instead of clinging to what you’ve always known as your typical way of dealing with the fear. Band with those strong enough to help you and together you can come out of this stronger and more stable than ever. This will help you and your personal relationships.
I will now refer to advice given in my blog on Mars in retrograde below.
“Write down a list of your goals, number them and during this time try to work on each one of them. Try having a soul reading which may show you flaws you did not know you have that need to be worked on.”
We are talking about a purging of emotions and relieving of emotional tensions. Becoming a new and stronger you and with a more stable persona. Learning how you handle your intricate dealings with others more easily.
This energy is being supported by the new moon from April 7th where it provides the stability to make the changes necessary. The new moon in May allows for continued progress, more on that as we approach the new moon next month.
For Twin Flames:
With this full moon, all that is going on with all your other current relationships, this energy is going to allow you to understand how fortunate you truly are to have found each other, even if you aren’t in union right now it is time to make these very important changes within yourself. Much will be revealed to you as to the love between you and how it is growing and changing. (Contact me for a coaching session or emotional releases and healings to help you move forward with this part of your journey)
You may see in your current connections with others, where and how you would like to be in life. When it comes to being in union you may now be able to more clearly the beautiful relationship that can be created with your twin flame. You will see what you need to change within yourself and those current relationships be that friendships or family. Also what and who you need to leave behind in order to be with them and open yourself up to the full potential of real, true, unconditional love. NO MATTER WHAT and ALL THAT MATTERS is the love, and support we have for each other, no matter what blocks can be in the way. In other words you will have more clarity.
You are being given the chance to purge those old assumptions and ideas once and for all. Open yourself up to the new levels of understanding, accepting and loving the one you are meant to be with. As well as accepting and loving yourself in ways you didn’t think possible. (more about loving oneself in the right way soon)
Take this time now to become friends who you are, and give yourself permission to become the very best person you can be today! The more you do you this, the more the energy shifts and you will find things changing in your interaction with your twin flame. Perhaps not immediately but it will happen.
Talk to me about services that can help you with these shifts. Ones that can help you move out of where you’re stuck, and open up to change, and growth.
© Carol Mary 2016
Carol Mary's thoughts on love and this journey we call life!