Are you sabotaging your chance at true love??

This is a very delicate subject because I know for a fact from time to time many of my clients do this. It is one of the things I find that most of you do not realize you are doing. I hear you say different things that you have done or said and I know deep down that many feel it is the right thing. I also notice that some of you go so far as to brag about what you have done. I always feel disappointed when I hear about this as mostly you are so close to being in the relationship you deserve so much.  

Examples of this are as follows:

• You stop answering messages
• You do not pick up when a call comes in from them instead you call back hours later stating you were too busy to talk
• You purposely stand him or her up
• You test your other half
• Holding back how you really feel (protecting your heart)
• Meeting another and having a relationship because it seems easier
• You come up with any reason you can that this relationship will  not work
• You put other things ahead of your relationship

So why do you do this?

The simple answer is you are scared. You want to avoid feeling hurt if your lover runs again, so it is easier just to cause problems and think of many reasons why you can not be together. While every part of you knows that you have to be with this person and that they are the one for you, you have lost your full trust in them because you have felt hurt so deep that it makes you question everything about who you are. (please refer to my blog on trust http://www.carolmarylove.com/blog/trust )  

You effectively turn into the runner.  

Avoiding pain is a natural human reaction to fear and there is no more frightening journey than that of the Twin Flame. To go through all of this journey you need to be strong and what I say to many of my clients only the strong are chosen for this journey and you know deep inside of you that you can do this and you know what direction that you want to be headed in!!

The key is to remember that our minds will latch on to any and all falsehoods when our hearts know what is true. Think about these common phrases and see how many of them you relate to in your mind and then ask your heart if they are really true or just the panic that comes with fight or flight. Understand what your heart knows.

How many of you are guilty of doing or saying the following  (I will refer to these as catch phrases)

• “I do not feel he/she finds me attractive”
• “What if I can not perform in the bedroom how we have built it up in our minds?”
• “You feel anxious about everything
•  You begin to act needy but that is not you normally
• “ You need constant reassurance that he/she loves you”
• “He/She has only wanted you for sex in the past so why would this be different”
• “My life would be so much easier if I were alone right now”
• “I am just not someone you can love”
• “If he/she sees the real me they will not love me”

This is just your inner critic.  Your feelings because this journey has not been easy so far and now that you have come so close, you can not believe that this is actually going to happen. It has taken so long to get to this point right now that something will surely go wrong. So instead of believing it you choose to not see what is happening and begin a journey of self destruction.


So how do we stop the cycle?

By remembering that the more we concentrate on loving yourself the less common thoughts and catchphrases can affect us.

You. know how your heart feels, you know what resonates. Believe in yourself and know that everything happens for a reason. The Universe often designs situations to allow lessons to be learned by both twins and move the twin flames farther down their path.

Believing our inner thoughts equals being our worst enemy.  Our thoughts follow a trail of panic designed to trigger the fight or flight reflex that is imbedded in our very DNA simply because we don’t often have physical proof of our Twin’s love.

Breaking through fear to listen to your heart means being aware of the resistance you offer yourself. When you think I can’t, I’m tired of this, this situation is awful, these are your prompts to push through your fear and reach a new position of strength. Remember that nothing can hurt you unless you allow it.

Remember this:
This journey is not for the weak. It is for the strong. You are all stronger than you know and that is why you were the special ones chosen. We do not want to use words like I can't! I do not want to hear I am tired of this..I want to hear no matter what I have faith and know I can do it. So let me hear you all say this!!

On  another note:

I just wanted to add do not always believe what you see on social media especially those apps who are designed to hook you up with the person who interacts most with your page.   What you see and what is actually real is a whole other story. Happy faces can be posted in a moment but that person might not be as happy as they appear to be. It goes back to that old saying keeping up appearances!

​© Carol Mary 2016