Welcome to October. There are some very interesting energies this month some things that really will astound you I’m sure of it.
Dating others on your Twin Flame Journey
Should I try dating others? I often get asked this question and for some reason this week I was asked it at the very least 20 times, so I decided I would answer it here in case others have this question.
Often we are lead to want to date another because we feel lonely, fed up or just want someone to share our life with because our Twin Flames can often leave us feeling rejected. It is common in life to want to know what else is out there for us and even though we love our Twin Flames, when they are not coming home to you and you feel as though they are not doing anything to help your connection so that you can move forward together. So you look towards dating someone else, I mean what else can you do, you do not want to be alone forever right?
Here is what I tell my clients when they ask this question:
There are a few ways to look at this, you can go ahead and date someone else, I mean why should you be the only one not having fun. Right?
You are single, free to do what you want but you are only drawn to your Twin Flame. The doubts start to creep in, should I, should I not. I mean it is cheating right? Wrong, dating someone who is not your Twin Flame is not cheating if you are not in a committed relationship with your Twin Flame. It may feel as though you are being disloyal because your mind, body and soul feels like it belongs to them.
You make the decision to put yourself out there, but what happens when your Twin Flame does come back, they awaken to who you are to them, they are finally at the point, that you have been wishing and praying for, what now, are you just going to drop the person you are dating and be with your Twin Flame? Is that fair to the person you are dating?
I personally feel that it is not honorable, as you are not considering the other person’s feelings, it is not right to let someone into your life and then have them feel the hurt of you just leaving them for someone else. Remember when your Twin Flame did this to you?
Or you can date and let the person know that you are not willing to make a commitment, that you just want some companionship. Is that a better way to do it?
Do you think that it is ok to date someone that you can not give your whole self to because you are in love with someone else?
What if you find that you fall for this other person, then you are in a real pickle right?
Why are you really being lead to date others?
The other way of looking at it is perhaps the universe is guiding you to date another, because there is a person out there who is meant to be part of your journey, that person is meant to teach you a lesson, an important one so you can move forward. That is very possible.
You found someone that you have made a connection with, perhaps this person is your soulmate.
There is a missing part of your life that you feel can only be filled by having someone to love, someone who can love you. That feeling of being wanted.
Perhaps there is someone out there, who will just accept you as you are, so that you no longer have to work through those painful emotions that being a Twin Flame will bring up. So for avoidance.
To show you how to trust in yourself, your gut instinct and to communicate with yourself effectively. To make an important decision and stick to it.
Also it could be to show you that there is no other person out there for you but your Twin Flame.
Lastly you do not trust in your journey to union, you do not think it is going to happen and doubt has become your best friend.
How do you know which to choose?
In truth I can not answer this question for you, only you can do that really, but there are a lot of things to note before you make your decision.
Here are some questions I would ask myself before I would decide what to do:
Why do I want to date? Am I running from our connection? Is this just for sex? Why is this person being lead to me? What will get from dating this person? If I put myself in my Twin Flame’s shoes what would they do? Is this my ego, am I butt hurt because I feel my Twin Flame rejected me? Is this just to get the attention of my Twin Flame, make them feel jealous? Will I be hurt? Will it slow my union down? Will my Twin Flame get hurt? Will I hurt the person I wish to date? Will this hinder my journey? Will it cause issues when we do finally get together?
The answers to the above questions will help you to decide, I also strongly recommend writing a list of the pro’s and con’s to this.
This is a huge decision, are you going to be loyal to your Twin Flame or look for more?
Some Twin Flame teachers will advise you to not date, to not even consider it, like it is a capital Twin Flame sin. That you can not possibly get to union if you are with someone else.
Others will tell you to go ahead, why should your Twin Flame be the only one having fun.
It is also important to remember that if you are asking this question, you are looking for approval to do something that you are totally unsure of doing, of course this is because you are scared of the effects it will have on your Twin Flame and your union.
Will it delay union?
Yes and no, it can delay union if you have not completed what you are meant to learn from this person. Dating another has caused your Twin Flame to move further away from you as they feel that this is what makes you happy then so be it.
No because you were meant to learn from this person. They are an important part of your journey to union.
So again it is only something that you can answer.
It is important to note that your journey is personal to you, personal to your Twin Flame, no one can decide what is right for you, but you.
What did I decide?
I personally chose not to date anyone else, my reasons were, that I needed to be alone for a while, to learn who I am, to become independent, to know that I did not need another person to make me feel fulfilled in life. I wanted to be loyal to my Twin Flame and my journey towards union. I did feel that it would cause problems later on down the road for us. In the end this was the right decision for me and one that I felt the universe guided me to in the end.
No one Twin Flame relationship is the same, I have not come across any that are in the many years that I have been doing this work, is there similarities? yes, it is imperative to note that you can not compare yourself to others out there on their road to union because it simply will not help you, in fact it could make things a lot worse for you. Take what resonates with you, leave behind what does not.
I have also learnt that many of you will try to date, to only find that you can not date, that the universe has other ideas for you, each and every person you meet, it will not work out with them.
A whole bunch for you to consider today, I hope that this has answered your question and will allow you to do what is right for you, your Twin Flame and your union.
If you have any further issues with this please feel free to contact me.
Maybe you need to learn to love yourself before you try to love another without condition ~ Carol Mary 2018
You are having problems with your Twin Flame, you have no idea how to deal with this and you want to reach out to your friends, so that they can be there for you too but you quickly found out that they think you should just forget about them. They are not worth your time, someone who can hurt you how they do and say they love you, you should just let them go but the dilemma for you is that you just can not because of the connection that you share.
You end up finding yourself in the position where you feel very alone and you do not have any idea which direction you wish to go in, there is very little sympathy from your friends and you can not really figure out why.
It is because of conditioned beliefs. These are the beliefs we have most likely you learnt as a child from your parents or from other role models, you have had throughout life. Some you will have learnt on your own.
Then your Twin Flame comes along and these beliefs no longer fit in with your life, the things your Twin Flame will put you through are not what you are used to but somehow this starts to not matter to you, you slowly begin to change what you used to believe in.
Then you are put in the position where no one seems to understand you anymore, those friends who you felt always had your back, think you are losing your mind, they ask you what is wrong with you, have you lost your self respect.
So here you are, with no one who understands you, feeling alone, trying to figure out how life has changed so much, how you got to here.
How did you find yourself in this position?
Well you met your Twin Flame, someone who will push all of your boundaries, is constantly showing you a new way to look at life, awakening you to see things in a different light, testing your strength, helping you grow. You are becoming the best version of yourself.
When you find yourself being up against such tests, ask yourself do I need these people in my life anymore, have I outgrown them, are they willing to grow with me, to try to understand me, do they serve any purpose. If you are getting a NO then it is time for you to continue moving forward.
It also depends on your outlook, if you are going to be negative, you will bring this into your Twin Flame relationship ~ food for thought!
Are you meant to move forward and grow, or are you meant to sit and wait?
If you want to fly in the sky, you need to leave the earth. If you want to move forward, you need to let go the past that drags you down. ~ Amit Ray
What else is new for Twin Flames, well we have 7 days of powerful energies beginning today September 20th to 27th (the full moon energy begins 3 days prior (Sept 21st) and ends three days later (Sept 27th).
I posted to my group this week and I asked the following question to them.
What is the most romantic thing a partner has ever done for you?
The answers that I got were very interesting but it prompted me to think about romance in relationships. I had to wonder if we were expecting too much from our partners or Twin Flames and do we watch too many movies where the male seems to be very extra romantic.
In the movies we will see these wildly romantic gestures, like say Ghost, where they are making pottery together, or rather not making it, or Dirty Dancing, where romance blossoms, or Pretty Woman, where Julia Roberts meets the love of her life, who comes to save her at the end. Love letters, hot air balloons and trips to the Eiffel tower, oh how wonderful it would be for life to be the way with the exception of Julia Roberts being a prostitute and Patrick Swayze’s death, but I am sure you can all figure out what I am getting at.
Have we really got to the point where we expect our lover to come riding in on a horse to save us from our doom and gloom.
Are you more realistic about things, occasional flowers for no reason, showing each other love by the little things we do for each other or are you still expecting that grand gesture?
The amazing thing about expectation is that is can all too often lead to disappointment.
Is the romance I once dreamt of dead? They do not do anything to make me feel special, but what do you do? Should it work both ways?
I told the group that the most romantic thing I had seen in the past month was my parents holding hands while out for a walk, after 45 years together, they still hold hands, they take care of each other and look out for one another. Is that not the epitome of love? Something for you to think about as you move forward to union, to those of you in union are you doing all those things you promised you would before you got to union?
Is romance make or break for you in your Twin Flame relationship? If yes perhaps now is the time to rethink your values and see how you as the leader Twin Flame can change this!!
Let’s get back to it!
As September has already begun, for most of you this is a return to routine in life. School, work, trudging through until the next holiday long weekend you may have off. Routine isn’t always a bad thing, it brings consistency, which in life, creating patterns lends balance to life. Where we tend to go wrong is letting the routine dictate our life, creating the negative thoughts and actions that lead us down the wrong path in life.
This being said we have the ability and skills to change that, we all do, it’s just a matter of changing your mindset and focusing on being focused on creating your life and not letting outside influences dictate how your life goes, more internal direction and focus than outside circumstances dictating to you.
That’s all I have for you this time, however on a side note, I would like to take the time to thank those of you who have booked services with me over the past month, I know there has been a delay on getting these out to you and each and everyone of you have shown great patience, so well done on that lesson, when you work with me, from the very first moment we speak, I am making notes on how I can help you to move forward on your journey. I personally work with each client, you will not see me fob you off to someone else. I will treat your union as if it were my own.