Fanning The Flames Vol 10.9

Dating Others on your Twin

​ Flame Journey

Hi All, 

Welcome to October. There are some very interesting energies this month some things that really will astound you I’m sure of it.  

Dating others on your Twin Flame Journey

Should I try dating others? I often get asked this question and for some reason this week I was asked it at the very least 20 times, so I decided I would answer it here in case others have this question.

Often we are lead to want to date another because we feel lonely, fed up or just want someone to share our life with because our Twin Flames can often leave us feeling rejected. It is common in life to want to know what else is out there for us and even though we love our Twin Flames, when they are not coming home to you and you feel as though they are not doing anything to help your connection so that you can move forward together. So you look towards dating someone else, I mean what else can you do, you do not want to be alone forever right?

Here is what I tell my clients when they ask this question:

There are a few ways to look at this, you can go ahead and date someone else, I mean why should you be the only one not having fun. Right?

You are single, free to do what you want but you are only drawn to your Twin Flame. The doubts start to creep in, should I, should I not. I mean it is cheating right? Wrong, dating someone who is not your Twin Flame is not cheating if you are not in a committed relationship with your Twin Flame. It may feel as though you are being disloyal because your mind, body and soul feels like it belongs to them.

You make the decision to put yourself out there, but what happens when your Twin Flame does come back, they awaken to who you are to them, they are finally at the point, that you have been wishing and praying for, what now,  are you just going to drop the person you are dating and be with your Twin Flame? Is that fair to the person you are dating?

I personally feel that it is not honorable, as you are not considering the other person’s feelings, it is not right to let someone into your life and then have them feel the hurt of you just leaving them for someone else. Remember when your Twin Flame did this to you?

Or you can date and let the person know that you are not willing to make a commitment, that you just want some companionship. Is that a better way to do it?


Do you think that it is ok to date someone that you can not give your whole self to because you are in love with someone else?

What if you find that you fall for this other person, then you are in a real pickle right?

Why are you really being lead to date others?

The other way of looking at it is perhaps the universe is guiding you to date another, because there is a person out there who is meant to be part of your journey, that person is meant to teach you a lesson, an important one so you can move forward. That is very possible.

You found someone that you have made a connection with, perhaps this person is your soulmate.

There is a missing part of your life that you feel can only be filled by having someone to love, someone who can love you. That feeling of being wanted.

Perhaps there is someone out there, who will just accept you as you are, so that you no longer have to work through those painful emotions that being a Twin Flame will bring up. So for avoidance.

To show you how to trust in yourself, your gut instinct and to communicate with yourself effectively. To make an important decision and stick to it.

Also it could be to show you that there is no other person out there for you but your Twin Flame.  

Lastly you do not trust in your journey to union, you do not think it is going to happen and doubt has become your best friend.

How do you know which to choose?

In truth I can not answer this question for you, only you can do that really, but there are a lot of things to note before you make your decision.

Here are some questions I would  ask myself before I would decide what to do:

Why do I want to date?
Am I running from our connection?
Is this just for sex?
Why is this person being lead to me?
What will get from dating this person?
If I put myself in my Twin Flame’s shoes what would they do?
Is this my ego, am I butt hurt because I feel my Twin Flame rejected me?
Is this just to get the attention of my Twin Flame, make them feel jealous?
Will I be hurt?
Will it slow my union down?
Will my Twin Flame get hurt?
Will I hurt the person I wish to date?
Will this hinder my journey?
Will it cause issues when we do finally get together?

The answers to the above questions will help you to decide, I also strongly recommend writing a list of the pro’s and con’s to this.

This is a huge decision, are you going to be loyal to your Twin Flame or look for more?

Some Twin Flame teachers will advise you to not date, to not even consider it, like it is a capital Twin Flame sin. That you can not possibly get to union if you are with someone else.

Others will tell you to go ahead, why should your Twin Flame be the only one having fun.

It is also important to remember that if you are asking this question, you are looking for approval to do something that you are totally unsure of doing, of course this is because you are scared of the effects it will have on your Twin Flame and your union.

Will it delay union?

Yes and no, it can delay union if you have not completed what you are meant to learn from this person. Dating another has caused your Twin Flame to move further away from you as they feel that this is what makes you happy then so be it.

No because you were meant to learn from this person. They are an important part of your journey to union.

So again it is only something that you can answer.

It is important to note that your journey is personal to you, personal to your Twin Flame, no one can decide what is right for you, but you.

What did I decide?

I personally chose not to date anyone else, my reasons were, that I needed to be alone for a while, to learn who I am, to become independent, to know that I did not need another person to make me feel fulfilled in life. I wanted to be loyal to my Twin Flame and my journey towards union. I did feel that it would cause problems later on down the road for us. In the end this was the right decision for me and one that I felt the universe guided me to in the end.

No one Twin Flame relationship is the same, I have not come across any that are in the many years that I have been doing this work, is there similarities? yes, it is imperative to note that you can not compare yourself to others out there on their road to union because it simply will not help you, in fact it could make things a lot worse for you. Take what resonates with you, leave behind what does not.

I have also learnt that many of you will try to date, to only find that you can not date, that the universe has other ideas for you, each and every person you meet, it will not work out with them.

A whole bunch for you to consider today, I hope that this has answered your question and will allow you to do what is right for you, your Twin Flame and your union.  

If you have any further issues with this please feel free to contact me.

Maybe you need to learn to love yourself before you try to love another without condition ~ Carol Mary 2018

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This is a good year for uniting twin flames and I am very honored to aid you on your road to reunion.

“Look inside yourself, become the best version of you, reuniting comes from within.”~ Carol Mary

​Please do not hesitate to contact me for more help with any of the above or any of my other blogs, I always strive to answer every email, direct message or Facebook inbox.


Take a chance, make a change, unite! ~ Carol Mary

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