The Searching Phase

Many clients come to me and ask, why is my twin flame on dating sites, looking for hookups on Facebook or throwing it right in my face that they want a date?  Why are they putting themselves out there and looking for someone else when they have already found me?

The answer is a long and complicated one that not many understand.  They find hurtful so I am going to try to make it simpler to understand. It is never easy to comprehend why your beloved finds it necessary to find someone else.  You will find yourself asking questions like, what is wrong with me?  Am I not good enough?  Did he not find me interesting or attractive enough? Did he not feel the same things as I did. In truth yes he did, but he could not believe that he was lucky enough to find you and wants to make sure that it was in fact true.

I aptly call this the searching phase. It is when your other half goes out in search of reality.  They want to make sure that they have found their one by seeing if others will even compare.  It is a runner instinct to do so, the runner may be running but they are also in search of truth as they do this!!

They may revisit old relationships, and try to figure out why it did not work with that person. Once again they will find out the reasons why,  your runner will realize this and know that it  will work with no other.  Now will come the time where they will make contact with you again.

This searching for another will hurt you very much, and make you ask the question how can this person be my beloved, the other half of my soul.  If they were,  they would not do this to me. In fact they are doing this for you, so they know when entering a relationship with you,  your runner will never find it necessary to look for another, they will know 100% that you are the one for them. Some of you might argue that this should be known from the beginning but I will state that past hurts cause runners to act how they do. (That is a story for another day!)

So how do you get through this phase, how do you deal with the hurt your runner causes you?

Many work on themselves, find other interests.  Some wallow in self pity and wonder all about how they are not good enough. Some twins meet someone else in the hope they can forget about their runner twin, this one never works out either.

What I suggest for you to do, is accept what your twin is doing and the reason why. Work on yourself, look at your faults and failings, not an easy task I know so contact me and I can help you deal with this phase and how to move forward with the least hurt possible.

If I could offer any advice or words of wisdom on what I call the searching phase is that you know that they will not find another like you no matter how far they look, and know that you are good enough and that you are special, unique and not like anyone else!!


​© Carol Mary 2016