Trust, there we go with that loaded word that gets thrown around all too often, we use it inappropriately in our everyday lives. Trust is the belief that someone is reliable, honest and good, it is also used in relationships, I trust my partner, wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend…
I believe the first people we trust in our life are our parents as they are the ones we look to for everything at a young age, this is blind trust, you do not look for flaws in this, it is growing throughout life that makes us as humans untrusting.
Trust is an emotion, it a belief that one has in another.
So let's tackle the subject of trust when it comes to love. Do you go into that relationship blind so as to offer the person all of us, or unblinded so that we will always look for some reason for the relationship to fail?
Can you remember the first times someone broke your trust, I can and it hurt but it also taught me a lesson to trust in someone but not fully, how do you overcome this?
They say the basis to any good relationship is communication, to be freely able to be the person you are, to express yourself, this is always number one on my list, if you can not talk to your lover about everything, share your secrets then there is no relationship, if you feel the need to hide things because of disapproval then there is no relationship, this is something that we learn from one another...this is something that can be work on with the right person…(ask me for tips on this)
So the number one thing on my list is honest, open communication
Understanding, having that with a life partner can help you both in the most difficult of situations, being able to talk about any issue that will arise within your relationship, to have the ability to hear what is not being said...
Number 2 is empathy
Listening to what the other wants...yes that can be said to be communication also...but how many of you really listen to what is being said, I find many are just thinking of the next things that needs to be said instead of actually listening to what the other is saying!
Number 3 is the ability to listen to one another
Jealousy, ok let's face it all of us get jealous, when in your eyes a beautiful woman smiles at your love interest what is the first thing many of us do...we accuse them of checking her out when in fact a friendly smile can mean nothing, instead try saying to your partner that lady is very pretty, show that you are secure with another woman smiling or being friendly with your man/woman, embrace that others may find them attractive and be happy in the knowledge that they choose to be with you. I have also found through my work that the more accusing you are the more likely your partner is to cheat! Why is that I hear you ask? Well I am being accused anyway therefore I might as well!
Number 4 reign in that green eyed monster
Make time for each other, put away the laptops, tablets and cell phones, and just be together, have fun, laugh, go to dinner, see a movie whatever it is you enjoy doing with each other. While we are on the subject of cell phones, do you need to know who they are texting, what they are saying to another instead trust that they have your best interests at heart. One thing that I find has helped in many relationship is the knowledge that one can look at the others cell if one wanted to, I know the pin but I never have to look as I trust
Number five is to make sure you have quality time together
Expectation, expecting everyone to be the same and judging others by the lower standards set by the person who once hurt you will lead your relationship to fail. Keep that insecurity in check!!
Number six is do not expect everyone to be like a previous person was to you
Once again I would like to go back to my earlier questions “Do you go into that relationship blind so as to offer the person all of us, or with eyes wide open so that we will always look for some reason for the relationship to fail?”
The answer is go into it with your eyes open but using some of the above tips to enhance and rebuild the trust you may have lost from life or even a previous lover, do not expect everyone to be the same!!
These are just some of the many tips I have for rebuilding the trust you may have lost over the years, if you would like help in this area please do not hesitate to connect with me!! This is a harder one to write as many have had their trust broken..let us learn to rebuild that together. I am here to help with this xx
©Carol Mary 2016. ©Reuniting comes from within All Rights Reserved. No part of copyrighted material may be used, altered or copied in any way without the express written permission of the copyright owner
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Carol Mary's thoughts on love and this journey we call life!